I realize I can blog. just that I can't see my blog. erpz.

Itz this weird date again. 23rd Sept. 23rd Sept. 23rd Sept... mayb I have to wiki it to know what is so special abt it.

我真是一个很矛盾的人啊。bundle of contradictions. memorizing 论语can really take one to the brink of insanity. As I closed my eyes trying to c the images of the pages, saw other memories instead. memories I din want to c. many images I din want to c. plunge into the depths of tormented depression.

So let mercy come
and wash away
What I've done...

Altho' Charis said Minutes to Midnight is "so not Linkin", but I suppose everyone has to mature, even rebels. Mike can't possibly write about angsty searches for self-identity all his life. From Hybrid Theory to Meteora to Minutes to Midnight, the "fear of uncertainty" factor just weakens. 

Hybrid Theory is like thrashing thru' a jungle, being chased by a gdness knows what yet not knowing where we're heading... only praying that itz towards the light of salvation.

I wanna run away, never say gdbye
I wanna know the truth, instead of wondering y
I wanna know the answers, no more lies
I wanna shut the door, and open up my mind...

Meteora is starting to know that myabe there is no "light of salvation", only I can save myself, but... who am I?

I will never feel anything else until my wounds are healed
I will be anything until I break away from me
I will break away, I will find myself today...

Minutes to Midnight is... philosophical in a way. No longer "crawling in my skin", but having broken out of that prison, suddenly realize that the world is not what it is... hating how the world is turning out and hating myself for not being able to do anything abt it, abt Life, abt death, abt anything... just a tiny angry existence... shouting out but no one can hear. Just a sad melancholy.

When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest...

Ultimately, the wounds stop hurting and the tears stop flowing. . .